I’ll never understand people who don’t say thank you. This is especially the case when they ask me for favors and I successfully complete the favors they’ve asked for. Maybe I can thank my parents for this, but I can’t imagine asking someone to do something for me, then not acknowledging it afterward. This makes no sense, but it’s happened to me several times over the past month.
I’m not talking about huge favors here, mind you, but the concept of a simple fucking “thank you” applies no matter what you’re asking for. Whether I’m picking you up at the airport, loaning you money, or putting myself in physical danger for you—it’s happened, believe me—there’s no difference with regard to what should happen afterward.
Three people have asked me for LinkedIn recommendations in recent weeks. I write pretty good ones, so this happens once in a while. I’ve never really given a shit about LinkedIn, so it doesn’t occur to me to give unsolicited recommendations. I know this would be a nice thing to do from time to time, but since I’m never on it and don’t use it, it’s not something I would think to do. This means that if you ask me to do this for you, it entails stopping what I’m doing to take the time to do something I wouldn’t ordinarily do.
I believe this is defined as a “favor.”
Three times, for these three people, I’ve written what I consider to be good recommendations, stating that I’ve worked with so-and-so, that he or she is highly-skilled at something, and that I’d sincerely love to work with this person again if only I’d be fortunate enough to be granted the opportunity. All three times, my efforts have been met with the chirping of crickets.
The result? They’re no longer my “contacts” on LinkedIn, for whatever that’s worth. Not much, I’m sure.
Then, a guy asked me to set him up with multiple people he wanted to talk to for business purposes. First, I called these people and asked for permission to share their contact information, vouching for this individual as I did so. Next, I passed along this information, along with some helpful tips as to how best to deal with my contacts. I know these people and he didn’t, so I assumed this would be useful to him.
Evidently, it was. The guy called every number I gave him, spoke to everyone, and used what they told him for his intended purpose.
How do I know this? Unfortunately, it’s not because he called to thank me for my help. It’s because I heard about it from the people whose numbers I gave him. I’m still waiting, a month later, for him to thank me for doing this.
If you ask me for a favor, and the favor helps you out, that’s awesome. I’m happy to do it, and I’m not some asshole who’s desperate for credit. That’s not what I’m saying here, so stop thinking that. The point is that it’s all unnecessary. I don’t need a thank you until I don’t get one. What’s the point of not thanking someone for completing a favor you’ve asked them to do for you? How hard is it to not skip that step? Unless you’re suddenly in a coma thirty seconds after you’ve found out the favor was done, there’s no fucking excuse.
I’ll still do favors for anyone who asks, but shit like this poisons the fucking well a little too often for my taste.