Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Reader Mail!

Dippin’ into the ol’ mailbag...


I've been reading your blog for quite some time now, which is pretty amusing since I'm really someone who hated and still hates blogs in general. But I used to be a bouncer at a Eastern-European nightclub in central jersey and I guess I could relate in some ways; guidos aren't the only groups of assholes that make nightclubs the dungeons they are.

You worked in Chelsea or that general area of meganightclubs I believe, and I always meant to ask you why then did you never write about the crazy drugged up asians that frequent nyc nightclubs, or at least did when I used to go. They seemed to be almost everywhere, fobs straight of the blue line from China Town that would be on so many different substances that they were in a different world. I don't think they ever caused a single fight, but I always remembered them in the corners, the hallways, the dancefloor, etc. just wobbling around in their own universe. It used to be funny for a while and fun to fuck around with them. Once there was one with his hands against the wall, head looking down and just shaking back and forth... I would see this same guy hours later in the same spot doing the same exact thing and I thought I would conduct an experiment. I put my hand on his head and through it with some force, not too excessively, into the wall... he seemed to be dazed for a
moment, stopping... and then he kept on going with same motion. Clubs were filled with these chink characters, I don't see that many when I go to those parts once in a while anymore. I'm not saying these were a major force in the club you worked in, I just assumed the invasion spread everywhere

Yes. Well. Moving right along, we have...

No real idea how to write this so I'll just rant, feel free to mark as spam at this point.

I'm english.
What that means is the scottish have a birth right to hate me and I have to pay them benefits for the pleasure.
Look at manchester and birmingham in england on a map and I'm pretty much inbetween them
I'm at risk of redundancy in my main job during this credit crunch we're all enjoying so much.
So I did some research and read your blog then got my SIA license.
I've spent several years doing martial arts and several more in the gym so why not?

Just a quick thanks and a short story.

I got talking to an old school friend through facebook who used to bounce but his license ran out.
I wanted to help him so got him in contact with my boss who is paying for his license renewal
2 weeks later we get a contract in the town he used to work in, which is out of my bosses normal range of pubs but one of his regular clients.
So now I have 3 evenings work a week on a better than average bouncing wage and one of my best friends from high school watching my back.

This email is just a quick thank you.


Well, I mean, I’d kind of like to feel good about helping you, dude, but...it’s bouncing. Chances are you’re gonna get, like, shanked or something eventually, so maybe you should hold off on thanking me until you’re burned out and thinking about chainsaws an hour into your shift.

Let me know!


While I agree with everything you and your correspondent said, it really is a bit simpler than all of that. An old friend of mine says it best: “I don’t hit ladies, but ladies don’t hit me.”

I have been lucky and have been attacked by a woman just once. She jumped me from behind as I was dealing with her boyfriend. She got dumped over my shoulder and was actually fortunate that she didn’t get badly hurt. But it didn’t faze me then, and I certainly didn’t agonize over it, because that simple rule took care of any second-guessing on my part.


Well said, sir. I’m thinking I can apply this same sentiment to the “verbal judo” sessions in which I often engage with disagreeable members of the fairer sex.