The One Habit of Highly Ineffective Slapdicks

I had a conversation with a very successful guy today about business terminology. Specifically, the bullshit argot people get from self-help books that they try to sprinkle into everyday conversation as though we’re all supposed to be fooled into thinking it’s perfectly natural for them to speak that way.

For example, I have one friend who’s perpetually “masterminding.” If he talks to someone about something business-related, he calls it a “mastermind session.” If he’s sitting around, broke as a motherfucker, trying to think of ways to make money, he’s masterminding. All day long with the fucking masterminding and business consults and the whole laundry list of other stupid shit he takes part in instead of actually working.

He also says he’s “taking massive action” all the time. He sits around and masterminds, and then he takes massive action. I do this, too. I do it all the time. I just call it something else, and my computer usually gets a big-time fucking virus out of the deal from all the porn I need to sift through in order to get it done.

Here’s an exact quote from the very successful guy I mentioned in the first paragraph:

“What the fuck is a mastermind session anyway? Did we just have one? Are we having one now? Why do you have to be motivated to be productive? Actually, the most motivated people I know do shit work.

“Fuck, I did eighty percent of my best work on my latest project wanting to blow my head off and wishing I was dead. I was far from motivated, and I didn’t get the idea from a mastermind session. I’m talking about the best work I’ve ever done, so I don’t get the whole ‘Let’s get pumped for a productive day’ thing. Anything productive I’ve ever done has taken many days and nights of work and frustration, not looking in the mirror and saying, ‘Today’s the day!’”

This certainly shifted my paradigms.