Cultus

If you don’t live in New York, but would like to know what Guidos are wearing this summer, this post is the post for you. When I tell you “what Guidos are wearing this summer,” I’m referring to all Guidos and not just those fashionable few of whom we spend so many waking hours in envy.

What this means is that every single Guido in New York is wearing the same thing on any given night, because that’s how Guidos operate. I’ve long forgotten my Tipping Point terminology, but I’m certain there exist “cooler,” more trendsetting Guidos at the high end of the collective who popularize these sorts of things. I don’t know. Maybe I’m not observant enough, because by the time my attention is drawn to the latest in Guido couture, whatever I’ve noticed has already taken hold on a massive scale.

Shirts that say Ed Hardy on the back are currently very popular. I have no idea what this is, nor where it came from, nor do I care. I know nothing about fashion or design - or anything else for that matter - but I do know that I don’t particularly like these shirts. There’s nothing overtly wrong with them – other then the fact that they’re a tad busy for my comfort level – but I would never wear one after seeing them on so many Guidos over the past few weeks.

Shirts that say Affliction on the back are also quite common. These are worn by Guidos who identify with the UFC and fighting and toughness. These Guidos want to be tougher than they actually are, but don’t want to put in the necessary work. Affliction shirts are sported by Guidos who think that wearing fighting-related shirts will frighten people. This is because the Guido lives by the sword. He’s a “soldier” of “the street.” In his world, weakness will get you killed.

Lip gloss, however, will not.