Thursday, December 31, 2009


2009 can go eat a giant cock.

This, in appropriately cliched fashion, has been a year of highs and lows for me. Exceptional highs, and exceptional lows. The lows, for the most part, outweighed the highs, because although I'm happy, fortunate and in a pretty good spot right now, I spent a hell of a lot more time this year pissed off and digging myself out of problems than I did thanking my lucky stars.

I'd say the ratio there was about 5-1, which isn't so great when you think about it.

Not that anything's bad right now, mind you - I'm employed doing something I love (which you'll hear more about soon), I'm healthy, and I managed to escape from Los Angeles unscathed, which is no easy task. Seriously.

Happy New Year, everyone. Thanks for continuing the check this site despite all my empty promises and false starts. Be'll get better.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009


Off the top of my head, here's a list of what I've read over the past month or two...

Blood Meridian - Cormac McCarthy
Suttree - Cormac McCarthy
The Sunset Limited - Cormac McCarthy
Wittgenstein's Mistress - David Markson
Speedboat - Renata Adler
Play It As It Lays - Joan Didion
Where Men Win Glory - Jon Krakauer
Game Six - Mark Frost
The Broom of the System - David Foster Wallace
Girl With Curious Hair - David Foster Wallace

There's also been some other shit I don't want to admit to, but these are the ones worth reading. Someone, however, should have copy edited Jon Krakauer's football passages in Where Men Win Glory. Absolutely brutal.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Jersey Shore

I haven't seen the show, but I've done some research. Here are my two main problems with it.

1. This show has been created, for all intents and purposes, to exploit the comedic value of the so-called "Jersey Guido." Seven of the eight cast members, however, are not from New Jersey. Six of the eight are from New York. As I've stated numerous times over the years, people from this area don't call these jackasses "Jersey Guidos," because the phenomenon originated - and can still be found in its most virulent form - in New York.

Your typical Guido from New York - the five boroughs of New York City and the suburban wasteland that is Long Island - doesn't spend his summers "down the shore." He drives out to Long Island with his friends, makes a jerkoff of himself there, then attempts to drive home, crocked out of his mind, and ends up spending the night in jail. If you're looking for realism, you need to follow that guy through a night of Guido bullshit, followed by his subsequent entanglement with the legal system after his inevitable DWI arrest. Offering him an artificial place to live and a job in a tee shirt store is far less entertaining than the way things really work.

2. The show's oldest cast member is 28. Most are 23 and under. In order to truly bring home what this whole Guido thing is about, they should have gone 35 and over, because you - the public - need to meet people who've actually embraced this lifestyle to the point of altering their appearances and wrecking their lives as a result. You need to meet older guys who've done time, yet still think they're "living the life." You also need to meet the Long Island nail technicians, shampoo girls and all-around receptacles who love them, because there are, seemingly, millions roaming the streets of New York on any given day.

It's a nice idea to isolate these people in a camera-friendly environment and watch how they interact, but it's far, far, far from reality. If anyone wants to give me a call, I'll tell you how to do this right.