Thursday, April 06, 2006

On the road II

Everyone knows I love receiving email on the gmail address dedicated to this blog. Most times, I’ll respond, usually in the form of threats, insults or solicitations for sex. Many of these have been unsuccessful. I’ve made some good friends as a result of responding to my email, though, and I’ll continue to do so as long as they keep rolling in.

In fact, the only emails I don’t respond to are ones which tell me things I already know. For example, people are still sending me links to the LeeHotti and “Gino the Ginny” sites, despite the fact that I posted about both several weeks ago. It’s not like I expect everyone on the planet to read the damned blog every day of the week, but if you simply have to play Captain Obvious, don’t be insulted if what you’ve written doesn’t compel me to respond.

My new favorite form of email started floating in about a month ago: letters from a whole slew of “freelance writers” who want to contribute to the blog. They offer to “write content,” and to “increase my readership” by appealing to a “broader cross-section of the blogosphere.”

What kills me is that some of these aren’t even mass mailings. You’d expect them to be, but they’re not. They’re personalized. People will write, point out how they’ve been reading the blog for quite a while, say something ingratiating to prove it, then ask if they can write for me.

Are you people fucking kidding me? I’m flattered, and I know it’s just a blog, but it’s mine. Not yours, or HarperCollins’, or anyone else’s. I started this shit, I made it good, I worked hard – relatively speaking - to teach myself how to do this, and I’m damned proud of myself for having done so. I’ve been doing this for nearly two years now on a consistent basis, and it’s just about the only damned thing in my life that I’ve ever stuck to, so no, I’ll not be enlisting you to “provide content” for me.

Why would anyone want to write for me, other than to get a little exposure for themselves? I guess it’s understandable if that’s your angle, but believe me, you’ve nothing to gain from me. This isn’t a pay site. I don’t have one of those cheesy PayPal logos soliciting donations, nor do I want to clutter up the site with all manner of advertising and crap. This isn’t a for-profit venture – unless you consider the book deal, in which case it probably is – so what’s the point?

If you’re a “freelance writer,” and you want your exposure, just do what I did. Start from the very bottom, with your own damned blog, and write to your heart’s content, because you’re not getting on this one, my friend.

And now I’m on vacation, and drunk, so go fuck yourself