Deturtling

I had trepidation. I didn’t want to do it. I went through the motions for a few days, said everything I was supposed to say, but I didn’t really want to do anything. It was just kind of an idea I was playing with. Something for somewhere down the road, you know?

Sometimes, though, you talk and talk and talk, and then time passes and you're pigeonholed, and the day comes where you’re obligated to do something, even if you had no real intention of acting on anything. Even if it was just something you’d toyed with doing sometime in the future. Something you figured you’d do eventually, but there were still plenty of days on the calendar to put it off. Plenty of days to stay in your box and not come out.

But you can’t, because if you do, it’s just something else that’s never going to happen. I’ve had enough of those for one lifetime.

So there I was, obligated now, not knowing whether I wanted to come up with some reason I couldn’t, not knowing whether anything I was doing was a good idea, not knowing whether I was doing something totally ridiculous, and you know what happened?

It turned out to be the right thing to do. Fuck, man. Life is weird.

But it’s good, too, you know?