Tuesday, April 12, 2011


I've been away from this thing for a while, but oddly enough, it still gets a ton of hits, so I guess I owe people some kind of update. It's only fair, right?

Things have been moving pretty well for me, careerwise, for the past couple of years. Right now I have a really cool job doing something I'm pretty good at, and I've been promoted multiple times since leaving "The Life of a Shitbag" behind. Not that there was anything wrong with being a professional shitbag, but I'd had enough of it and it was time for me to start using my mind to make a living for once. Best move I ever made. I always made fun of you people for working in your cubicles and your crappy offices, but now I'm doing that, too, and I couldn't be happier, at least professionally.

Now that I have some perspective on it, my story really is kind of cool. A professional jerkoff -- a "two-pump chump" as my friend Adam once called me -- starts a blog, which gets him a book deal (the culmination of which, let's face facts, sucked...but still), which lands him a job in the publishing industry (and a nice office). What the fuck is that all about?

Anyway, thanks to all of you who've inexplicably hung in for posts that haven't been coming. I've been thinking a lot lately about trying to get another book published. I'm definitely a WAY better writer than I was back then, having done this professionally for a while now, I have a better sense of how things work in terms of putting the shit together, and, most importantly, I have a much firmer grip on reality. Book deals don't grow on trees. Mine was such a weird surprise when it happened that I thought I was entitled. I wasn't, but the finished product was something written by someone who obviously started on third base and thought he'd hit a triple.

If I knew then what I know now...

But you know what? I know now what I know now, and I'm better at this now than I was then, so I'm definitely looking forward to doing more in this business. Things could definitely be worse.

Also, I had a dog growing up, and today would have been his birthday. He was cool.