We instituted a tightening of the dress code this past weekend. This was done because we’ve been having problems lately. These problems have invariably involved people wearing similar kinds of clothing. When this happens, the logical solution is to stop letting in people who dress in the same manner as the people with whom you’ve been having trouble, so that’s what we did.
One gentleman – from Long Island, of course - came to the door on Friday night wearing one of those horrible Ed Hardy tee shirts. This thing had so many rhinestones and sequins on it that I found myself having a hard time reading his license because of the glare. This pissed me off, so I told him he couldn’t come in.
“Sorry, man. I can’t do the tee shirt tonight.”
“Why not?” he asked.
“You gotta have a collared shirt tonight. That’s what they want.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah, man,” I replied. “That’s what the owners want tonight.”
“Yo, dis fuckin’ shirt cost a hundrit fitty bucks!”
“Oh, please,” interjected Guestlist Girl. “I could make one of those for five bucks with my fucking Bedazzler.”