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Honestly, I’ve never been the world’s biggest advocate of providing people with blog-form “life updates” after I’ve been absent from posting for a while. Granted, I’ll do it, but these posts are written with a grain of salt because I know nobody really gives a flying fuck what’s going on with my life. Thinking anyone actually did, then writing about it from that perspective, would be delusional exhibitionism in its most pathetic form – and I’m not really into that sort of thing these days.

I write about one of my jobs. It provides material that people seem to enjoy reading. The rest of my life isn’t quite as rich, so there’s usually nothing to say. I’m a boring motherfucker, to be sure. I don’t get out much. Most of my closest friends are either married or live out-of-state. When I’m not working, I’m either home fucking around on the internet looking for new shit to do at the gym or babysitting my brother’s kids. There’s nothing of note here, really, and I like it that way.

Do me a favor and buy several million copies of the book so I can move to Montana and be done with it, okay?

That said, I haven’t been writing much lately, and that’s probably not a good thing because when I don’t do this for a while, I get rusty and it takes a couple of days to get what passes for my “flow” back. So, with nothing nightclub-related to cover tonight, I’ll offer a self-aggrandizing update or two on my current condition, organized by topic so anyone who actually needs something from me can take from this what they wish and leave the rest – and spare me from having to send out dozens of emails.

1. Health: Just when I’d finally gotten the last shred of Guido-inflicted streptococci out of my system, I fucked up my back at the gym doing kettlebell snatches the day after a heavy squat workout. The moral of the story is this: don’t do an intense kettlebell session when your back is already sore from doing heavy shit the day before. I’ve now been walking at a forty-five degree angle for a week. This hasn’t left me in the best of moods.
2. Photographer: Because I’ve been royally pissed about putting my back out, I’ve put off searching for a photographer for a few days, which I’m certain has inconvenienced a few people I haven’t yet called back. I apologize for being an irresponsible prick and will make amends today or tomorrow.
3. Personal: I’ve had a few little issues to deal with recently – one of which came to a bit of a head yesterday – that have kept me out of the email/phone/social loop for a week or two. If I owe you a call/email/IM/visit, please be patient. I’ll be catching up on all that shit over the next few days.
4. Work: I’m still bouncing. In fact, I’ll probably be adding one night a week until my cash flow situation settles down a bit. Contrary to popular belief, nobody’s getting rich over here just yet. Working on it, though.
5. Book: It’s probably coming out at the beginning of March, but I think they’re trying to figure out the proper timing so I’m not entirely sure what’s going on with the exact date. You’ll know as soon as I do. And yes, there’s a valid reason for all the delays.
6. Next project: I have something in mind. I’m sure the “people who matter” will be watching to see how the first book does, but I think I’ve got an idea that could, potentially, turn out to be fairly lucrative.
7. Reading material: I’m currently reading David Maraniss’s biography of Roberto Clemente and rereading Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson. I just finished rereading the entire Rabbit Angstrom series by John Updike. I’m big into rereading these days.

Long story short, my head conveniently popped out of my ass this evening and I’ll be getting some shit accomplished for the first time in a couple of weeks. This includes posting here on a regular basis again. Thanks for your patience.