Thursday, November 09, 2006

Random shit from an uneducated moron

I don't comment on politics much, but in light of it being the day after the day after Election Day and all, I figured I'd ask the question I kept asking in the weeks leading up to the big flip-flop:

Where the fuck do incumbents get off campaigning on a platform of "change" or "reform"?

I mean, I understand the deal with this shit this year, because by "change," they're referring to the transfer of power in the House and the Senate. Still, though, it sounds like a total crock of shit to me coming from people who've already been in office for years. Especially here in New York, where we saw more campaign commercials for the New Jersey elections than we did for our own state.

Yeah, we get it: Bob Menendez is a crook, and a vote for Tom Kean, Jr. was a vote for President Bush, but did anyone notice, when watching the news, that Menendez acts like a fucking space alien on a repeating loop?

Reporter (as Menendez was exiting a voting booth): "Senator, did you vote for yourself?"

Menendez: "I voted for change, and the people of New Jersey will show today that they want change!"

Another Reporter: "Senator, do you think Tom Kean ran a clean campaign?"

Menendez: "I'm here today to vote for change, and I think the people of New Jersey agree with me that change is what we need!"

Another Reporter: "Senator, did you take a shit today?"

Menendez: "I sat down on the toilet today to show that the people of New Jersey want change!" Thumbs up!

I couldn't bring myself to vote for someone who speaks to me as if I'm a fucking maroon. You'd think politicians would have learned that much by observing the public's response to Al Gore, who should, by all rights, have won the election in 2000 by a landslide, but didn't. Why not? Because, I believe, people didn't like the way he spoke to them. Al Gore didn't speak or act like a guy I trusted to be the President of the United States. George W. Bush wasn't much better, but Gore simply didn't seem normal to me. Call me superficial, or even stupid, but that's the way it was. I needed my President to sound like a human being.

Even better was Alan Hevesi winning the race for State Comptroller. It's telling that the people of New York State would rather have the national symbol of everything that's wrong with politics serve in Albany than a Republican. Dude, the guy didn't address the problem, apologize or try to remunerate the state for the money he owed until he was completely and utterly disgraced on a national stage...and he still won in a landslide.

And I can't stand Hillary Clinton. I really can't stand Hillary Clinton, but I'll make a concession here, which for me is a giant leap: I think she actually pays attention to her job. Whether I agree with her politics or not -- I'm not saying, incidentally -- or like her personally (I don't), I have to admit she probably works harder at being good at her job than any politician I've ever seen in New York State, and that, strangely enough, inspires a certain degree of confidence. Despite the fact that she nauseates me most of the time, at least there's some serious thought involved in what she does -- even if it's in her own self-interest at least 99.9% of the time. That's more than you can say for most of the people in office around here. And it kills me to compliment a Clinton, even if it's backhanded.

"Who are you voting for in the gubernatorial election?"



"Because he took on Wall Street, and he beat those bastards!"

"What did he do, exactly?"

"I dunno, but I like him. He's tough!"

And can we figure out what the fuck to do about Iraq and Afghanistan before anyone asks me to care about same-sex marriages or parental consent for abortions?

That's it. I will never speak of politics again. And no, I am not a registered Republican. I just kind of sound like one today.